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Outfit: Stop saying everything is fine

DSC_9104k Outfit: Stop saying everything is fine Everything is fine…

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scarf – Charles Vögele* / Jeans – Topshop / jumper & jacket – Asos / shoes – Melvin & Hamilton / bag – Picard Vintage
photos by Julien

I’ve probably said the word a million times: Fine.

Looking back now, I can admit that I don’t always say what I mean. Even when things are very clearly not fine, I find it extremely difficult to express this to others. “I’m fine,” I say. “Nothing’s wrong.” And then I’ll probably be silently sad or angry for the next few hours and the anger keeps growing.

Sound familiar? Pretending everything’s fine and appears to be a common trait in women, so much so that the word seems to have turned it into a common idiom. Why don’t women just say what they really want to say?

We define “crazy” as anything that isn’t perfectly calm and collected.

 

I think, in a way, it comes down to what women are taught that makes them desirable. Desirable women are cool and laid back, right? Desirable women are absolutely nothing like the other girls, who are over emotional and just plain “crazy.”

Having emotions or being emotional doesn’t make a person crazy, but we perpetuate the idea that it does when we define crazy as anything that isn’t perfectly calm and collected. And often we don’t want to make us vulnerable, right?

You should feel comfortable talking about the things that matter to you. No, I don’t mean you should unload all of your problems on your work colleague who casually asks how you are when you pass each other in the hallway or gym. I do mean that you should stop pushing aside your emotions as stupid or invalid. The people who care about you don’t just want to hear about how “fine” you are every day.

And isn’t being “fine” all the time sort of boring, anyway? What good can we accomplish if we limit ourselves to the half-hearted platitude of “fine?”

Hiding our emotions might make us seem happier, but it won’t make us happier.

We won’t find inspiration in suppressing our feelings. Hiding our emotions might make us seem like happier people, but it won’t actually make us happier. My guess is that effectively communicating when something is wrong stands a much better chance. Ans also won’t lead to misunderstandings or even more arguments.

The next time I’m upset and am about to tell someone “I’m fine,” I’ll stop to think about it first. I don’t want to lie just because I think that’s what people want to hear. I want to be a woman who feels things. I want to be a woman who has a voice and isn’t afraid to use it.

This sounds grown up – but that is what I want to be.

Do you also encounter this attitude with “being fine”? I’m curious to read your thoughts!

To the last melancholy post I think this outfit currently still reflects my mood. However, even if I don’t feel always fine I won’t let it pull me down. For now I’m looking so much forward to shoot new inspiring spring outfits and having a prolongued weekend 🙂

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13 Comments

  • Reply
    barbiegirl06
    24. March 2016 at 21:27

    Lovely post and very interesting outfit! 🙂
    https://barbiegirl06.wordpress.com/

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      24. March 2016 at 21:50

      Thank you my dear 🙂

  • Reply
    Dinda Rossi
    24. March 2016 at 23:28

    “Hiding our emotions might make us seem happier, but it won’t make us happier,” is beautiful quote. I support your convenience when journey to anywhere. Love your style <3
    http://www.raparapa.com/gambar-batik/

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      26. March 2016 at 10:45

      Thank you so much for your comment!

  • Reply
    Maddy
    25. March 2016 at 18:30

    So true. It took me many years to work up the courage to start honestly saying how I feel. So hard, but so worth it. Thanks for the post. ♥

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      26. March 2016 at 10:45

      THANK You Maddy <3

  • Reply
    Christine
    26. March 2016 at 10:37

    In diesem Text habe ich mich wirklich wieder gefunden. Das ist wirklich ein Satz, den ich auch schon so oft in den Mund genommen habe. Und eigentlich entsprach er gar nicht der Wahrheit. Überhaupt nicht.

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      26. March 2016 at 10:46

      Danke Liebe Christine 🙂

  • Reply
    Ev
    26. March 2016 at 17:29

    Great look!

    ______________________
    PERSONAL STYLE BLOG
    http://evdaily.blogspot.com

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      28. March 2016 at 19:11

      thank you 🙂

  • Reply
    Georgia Hope
    29. March 2016 at 22:24

    Love the shoes! Such an interesting read too 🙂 xx
    http://www.chasingbelle23.blogspot.co.uk

    • michaelablog
      Reply
      michaelablog
      30. March 2016 at 22:37

      Thank you so much Georgia 🙂

  • Reply
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