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The Difference Between ‘Lonely’ and ‘Alone’


“What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.” – Ellen Burstyn

Recently I read Joy by Osho and was completely blown away by every page, every sentence, every word and every letter. Not only this book but other inspiring self-improvement books like “The untethered soul” or “whatever arises, love that”  and moreover the best-selling books from Eckhart Tolle, have just made me questioning the human being and the craziness of society even more. I found so many subjects worth sharing with everyone in my life, but more importantly with myself. I could relate to the books immediately. The writings made me think a lot about the mind and the power of our own thoughts on everything we experience and sense in our lives.  It seemed every part of his book I could relate to immediately. One part I would like to share with all of you is the difference between being lonely and being alone.

“When you are lonely, you are looking for someone or something to fill your time, to fill the void in your schedule and to fill a void in your heart.”  You are searching for something that does not exist anymore, or maybe never existed in some cases. You hope for company and feel depressed when you are by yourself. Loneliness is a negative state of mind where you are always longing for the other. You are looking elsewhere for fulfillment and are just not satisfied with yourself  or without  external approval.

“Alone is a positive state of mind, a very fulfilling place to be. It is a state where you are always and constantly delighted in yourself.”  It is blissful, happiness, content with nothing, and peaceful. You do not rely on anyone but yourself to feel alone, and you are happy being alone. You have found yourself, and you are living happily with yourself.

Now that we have the differences out of the way, what does this mean to you? 

  • Doing things for yourself is a part of taking care of yourself.

Whether you’re meeting new people, enjoying a yoga class or do something that improves your well-being and gives you peace of mind. When alone time becomes synonymous with bettering yourself, it will never be unproductive, boring, or lonely again.

  • You get to be selfish, and being selfish isn’t always a bad thing.

When you remove others from the, “What should I do today?” equation, you get to put yourself first. You are not relating on anyone else’s decision and can just do your own independent way. You’ll find more happiness and fulfillment in these kind of activities.

  • Be present and live in the moment.

Don’t overplan and focus on every single thing you do. Avoiding multi-taking will not only help your productivity but also your peace of mind. Practice being present with yourself and it will come naturally when you’re around others. No more scrolling through Instagram at dinner

  • Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Doing something new or foreign to you can be challenging, weird, and just plain scary. And that’s totally understandable. But it’s when we push past our insecurities and our self-doubt that we really start to experience life — and all it has to offer. Try going to dinner alone, go to an art exhibition by yourself. . If you’re worried about what strangers will think of you — don’t. The only one that should care about that is you 😉

Side note: For me time to step out of my comfort zone as I will move to London in exactly xxx Days!!!! See you soon 🙂
Moschino-Peak-Performance-pale-pink-2-1 The Difference Between 'Lonely' and 'Alone'

Moschino-Peak-Performance-pale-pink-3 The Difference Between 'Lonely' and 'Alone'

“The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself.”– Douglas Coupland


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  • Reply
    Monday October 2nd, 2017 at 08:00 PM

    Love this post!! I have been fighting for years to become less the lonely and more the alone tyoe 🙂 I’m getting there!


    • michaelablog
      Monday October 2nd, 2017 at 09:29 PM

      So good 🙂 Indeed it takes time.

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