„Your life is a sacred journey.
It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation,
continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul,
learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition,
taking courageous challenges at every step along the way.
You are on the path…
exactly where you are meant to be right now…
And from here, you can only go forward,
shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing,
of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.“
~ by Caroline Adams
One day early this year I all out of the blue the idea came into my mind to go far abroad for vacation and just do something different totally out of my comfort zone. At that point it was again a phase when I started feeling stuck and lost at the same time. I was somehow not satisfied and happy with myself (first world problems…) But still I wanted to do something meaningful to me and not hang around without ‚plan‘.
I don’t know if it was a higher energy or whatever that drove me to that spontaneous decision. The idea about doing a Yoga education came into my mind and as I found calmness and stress reduction in the practice. I researched a bit, asked my Yoga teacher – and the next day I just booked the trip everything 🙂 And basically nearly to the very last day before my departure I did not have any expectations or imaginations what this journey would bring. The only thing I was really hoping for was that this will be challenging. Physically and mentally.
I made a conscious choice before coming to Bali that assumptions would only get in the way. The effect of this was something I could not have predicted. I knew that 27 strangers will join the journey and get into the same adventure. In the time we got to know each other and grew to a big family. Each of them broke me open, in their own way and a friendship developped. I was impressed by the openness and love. You were accepted without judgement and you were allowed to be who you are. I have never felt anything like it. It made me cry not only once…
You know there. I had TIME for myself with myself. No internet fuss or any stressful distractions. I was living in the here and now. It was an amazing experience, because lately I had always a full agenda and was stressing from appointment to meeting etc. Happy to be busy?! Blog, Work, Studies, Online Shop, Sport, Friends.
I am not sure… At a certain point it made me sader and more lonely.I realized that I need to take time for myself and with myself.
Disconnect and turn inside. And this was damn hard in the beginning but the longer the better I felt. Detox for real! The internet was basically non existent which caused me headaches in the beginning. But after a few days I gave up and enjoyed the time. I basically tried to let go everything behind and soak in every impression that was exposed to me. Each day felt like a lifetime of learning and growth. Incredible energy surges and lowest lows followed where I got deeper into myself and learned more about me. It was ok to be not ok some days. A open ear or shoulder to lean on was always here when you needed it.
If our practice was our life
If prayer, our words
What if the temple was the Earth
If forests were our church
If holy water—the rivers, lakes, and ocean
What if meditation was our relationships
If the teacher was life
If wisdom was self-knowledge
If love was the center of our being.“ ~ Ganga White
When we said goodbye, I was speechless. There are not enough words to describe what I just experienced. I changed so much during that time and grew a lot personally. As I sit in the airport and begin to let it all soak in, I am filled with joy and gratitude. As I go on, the memories will be there with me. Every one of them helped me let go of something I held on to. I feel freer than ever before. Thank you. For offering yourself to the group. For checking in on others. For standing your ground when things were tough. For folding when the chips were low. For being you, which was a part of a beautiful us.
It’s soon a week since I came back home (or what I perceived as home) but I feel misplaced, misunderstood and lost. It’s hard to explain but I have changed – the things around me are the same. It’s somehow mismatching. I am questioning a lot these days. Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? Why is this society so cold and stressed? Does this make sense? Am I happy? etc.
At this point I want to thank you! If you made until here with reading and after this long period of absence still read my blog 🙂 Don’t worry, the blog is a passion and I will continue to share lots! Actually, as soon as I get used to ’starring‘ in the screen again I’ll have lots of content to share with you.
Stay tuned and the future will bring lots of colors!!!